Ok, so I've been told that I'm required to post a blog or two on the topic of having a baby. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write about since a. I'm not the pregnant one and b. I'm not nearly interesting enough for anyone to read what I have to say.
But, let's start at the beginning. Hello. How are you? My name is Jon. I'll be the daddy in this child-raising experience. My duties will include: feeding, washing, changing diapers and being very scared about this whole thing.
As an example: this morning, Carly told me that she had lost 2 pounds. Now, as a male and a husband, my immediate reaction is one of happiness. Typically,"She's going to be happy about this!", my pathetic male mind thinks. Then comes the look of being UNhappy about this.
See, the male mind is fragile. We like order and things we can either hunt or repair (or both. Like a robot bison or something. Just go with it, I didn't say we're logical). The above situation is not one that this poor brain is capable of processing. I shut down like a GM plant.
Moral of this story: I'll get used to being a pregnant woman's husband about the time that the baby comes and I have to learn to be a baby daddy. Then comes the toddler phase, then I'll just so happen to be cleaning my guns when my daughter's boyfriend shows up. Then it gets ugly...
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Kudos on your first post! And no worries about the being scared part. My husband felt the same way, and then when we found out it was twins he was downright terrified! The point is, when the time came, he did great and you will too.
ReplyDeletePretty much all I know about you is from this post and it is obvious from your sense of humor that you and Carly were meant for each other! I miss that dry sense of humor of yours, Carly! I have a feeling that if I ever overheard a conversation between you two I would laugh the entire time... :)
You're doing a great job so far. And maybe if you're lucky, I'll give birth to a robot bison! Or maybe one of those creepy Japanese robot children?
ReplyDeleteI have faith in you, Marvin. *grin*
ReplyDeleteRobot bison. Thank you for that. Is it built of titanium? Gotta have a clear picture.
ReplyDeleteI like to think it's bronze or copper. Titanium isn't quite the right color.
ReplyDeleteJon, you're a natural blogger. I think you missed your calling :)
ReplyDeleteShit, if we handle (ish) two, you'll be a wiz! Just remember, it's like 9 months (or more) of PMS-like symptoms. Smile and nod, smile and nod.
Titanium? Nah. That's way too heavy a metal. The frame would warp under the weight. I'm thinking aluminum. Has a high strength to weight ratio... And we could paint it!
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