More pictures

Here's a few rare pictures of us. Not "rare" as in non-cooked steak, but as in it does not happen very often. So, yes, marvel at our greatness and cuteness. Well, not OUR greatness and cuteness... more, Carly and Lily's greatness and cuteness. And some ugly homeless crazy person touching my beautiful wife's belly.

Pregnancy Decorum

It seems that when confronted with a pregnant woman, some people completely lose their minds and their sense of decorum and propriety and will say whatever assy thing comes into their heads. Here are some actual things that have been said to me:
"My kid woke up 5 times last night. I hope you have a kid that can't ever sleep."
"You're due in October? That's some terrible planning, don't you think?"
Me: "I'm about 15 weeks, so I'll be due in October"
Student: "Yeah, as long as nothing bad happens."

Seriously? First of all, why would you hope that a kid has trouble sleeping? Not only is that rude to me, but that can't be pleasant for the child. Second, no, it's not terrible planning. Stuff happens when it happens, and it doesn't matter when it does. I'm thinking that no matter when I'm due, people would think it was poor planning. And finally, there are no words for that last one. I actually started laughing when he said that to me because I was so shocked and dumbfounded. Some of my other students nearly had to be restrained because they were so furious that someone would say something so insensitive, but I just had to laugh.

Anyone else have any fun stories? Please share!!!

And the winner is...

...peppermint gum. How weird is that? I really honestly tried the crystallized ginger, but when I took a bite and very nearly upchucked from the taste, I decided that wasn't the best strategy for me. Turns out I just hate the taste of ginger. We went to Whole Foods in Omaha yesterday (much to Jon's chagrin) to find the ginger, and I don't know what kind of racket these crystallized ginger people have going, but the cashier tried to sell us on the HUGE FREAKIN' TUB of the stuff. Seriously? Do people really need/use/like it that much???

So besides the aforementioned nausea, I've discovered some other really fun pregnancy side effects that no one (even the baby book) bothered to mention. You know how all girls have at least some amount of peach fuzz on their faces? My face is getting fuzzier. Luckily, the hair on my face is completely white, so I'm the only one that would know it (unless I were to...oh, I don't know...tell everyone on the internet?), but it's still kind of weird. Also, since it seems that everything my body does is on overdrive right now, I've had to completely stop using conditioner in my hair lest I start looking like...well, Jon. Plus, excess ear wax. I did a minor amount of poking around on the internet, and it seems that this ear wax thing is fairly common, just not something that gets either noticed or mentioned all that much. The worst thing that's happening, by far, is that the hormones are making me crazy in my brains. I'm having all sorts of weird dreams, and a lot of them have to do with people I haven't even thought about in many, many years. I don't like it! There is a reason I forget things, and when I do forget something, I'd rather it stayed forgotten.

Not all of the side effects are bad, mind you. I had to get a manicure the other day because I simply cannot keep up with my nails. These bad boys are a bit out of control. And though my hair is a bit oily, it feels thicker and is growing at an exponential speed. My energy is also getting much higher, which is a nice change from needing to sit around and stare at the wall with my mouth hanging open all of the time, which is what I was doing my first trimester.

So I'm feeling much better, and thank you to everyone who had nausea remedy ideas. I still feel like it's sort of lurking right around the corner if I loosen my grip on my package of gum even for a second, but hopefully it will be completely over in a week or two.

Ginger, The Professor, Mary Ann...

I stopped off at the local (by that I mean 29 miles away) health food/herbal products/tree huggin' hippie/ginko biloba/placebo store this morning trying to score some crystallized ginger for the mom-to-be. Her morning nausea is getting bad, so anything seems like it will help. Not knowing what in the world I'm looking for (aside from the aforementioned crystals), I ask the shopkeep (who I swear is part giant) for some. I felt a bit like an addict asking for my hit. "Hey, man. You holding any crystal ging?" I ask in my best casual non-drug-seeking tone. The guy said that the only way it comes is in huge tubs. HUGE freakin' tubs of crystallized ginger. "Yo, Home Slice, hook me up with that!" I say to the good shop's proprietor. He then tells me that they had to stop carrying it since no one wanted HUGE FREAKIN' TUBS of ginger. My response? "Dang, yo, that's whack like crack." So, I had to settle for the chew kind of ginger candy. Tastes a lot like a chewy Red Hot. We're gonna try it out tomorrow morning since she doesn't have to go to work and can sleep it off.

In other news, I've been promoted to the rank of "Senior Picture Uploader" for this baby journey. So, requests for picture can be placed here. No promises that I'll take them, and no promises that I'll post them if I do, but it's nice to get some feedback. We're attention whores at Chez West.

Finally, only 22 days left to get your vote in on if the baby will be a boy or girl!

Pictures!!!

So, as promised, here are the ultrasound pictures! They're not very good, but I tried. And these don't really do our beautiful baby justice. Take a gander... That's our doctor pointing to the baby's hand. And at the top, a shot of the head and feet of the little bugger! He said that the baby was quite the wiggle worm and didn't stay in one place for too long. There's video too, but I'll be darned if I can get this thing to upload it before Christmas.

Also, kudos to the three that are actually following this blog! To the rest of you, presuming of course there are any others out there, for shame! Follow our little adventure as we fumble our way about parenthood!

I need some help!!!

Ok everybody. I'm putting out the official call for help. This whole morning sickness thing (which is dumb, because it's almost noon and I'm STILL sick) is getting out of control. I've accepted the possibility that I'm just one of those women who doesn't get over it, or that it might take a few more weeks, but I'm having a hard time functioning here, and I need some cures. I tried eating some crackers before I even sat up in bed, which worked exactly twice and then no more. What else can I do? If any of you moms out there have any ideas that work, or if any of you have even heard of something that might possibly work, please PLEASE let me know. I just got done with spring break, and I think being back at work is making it worse, because for the past 4 days, I could just lay in bed until it passed and things were fine. Now, I have to get up and function, and I'm having a very difficult time with that.

Thank you!!!

April Checkup

We went to the doctor yesterday, and I know I promised pictures, but then I went and left Jon in charge of the camera, and I PROMISE that won't happen again. Yes, I realize what my promises are worth now, but this time it'll be different, I swear!!

Everything is looking good. Cletus is measuring at exactly 14 weeks, so we're right on track. We saw the ultrasound again, and apparently, Cletus is quite wiggly. The only thing we really saw was an arm sticking out and a hand. After we left the doctor, Jon spent about half an hour saying "it has hands....it has hands...." like he was expecting flippers or something. We thought there might be a chance to see the gender, and at one point, Dr. Burke had a decent crotch shot, but he couldn't see anything for certain. I'm still predicting a girl, but we'll have to wait to know for sure.

After the appointment we went to Omaha for dinner, because I can't seem to get enough Pad Thai. We also found me a new ring. About a month and a half ago, I realized I couldn't get my wedding ring off. I don't know if it was bloating or just simple fatitude, but nothing could get that bad boy off. We eventually had to go to a jeweler and get it cut off (my poor ring is so mangled now...) and I feel really weird without a ring. So we found me a nice little $25 sterling silver Claddagh for me to wear just until the baby is born. And then we had Dippin' Dots!!! Oh, and I haven't gained any weight yet, either, even though I've been gorging myself on things like Thai food and Dippin' Dots. Being pregnant is neat!

I'll see if I can get Captain Shaky Camera to post some of his stellar work later on today.

Easing into fatherhood

Our next doctor's appointment is on Friday. I say "our" because the visits so far have turned into "The Carly and Jon Variety Hour". Consider: Carly was concerned about her cholesterol and what it would do to the baby. The doctor says, "It's fine. High triglicerides actually help the baby's brain form." And my wife, who I love to death by the way, says, "So, fat chicks have smarter babies?" I think the doctor might have peed a little laughing so hard.

As Carly said, our doctor is a little... out there. Not a bad guy, mind you, just a touch "off". But, not in the stabby-stabby kind of way (also known in serious psychology circles as the "Imma gonna cut you" kind of crazy). More of the "he's a fun guy to be around" kind. He's puts us at ease. I feel very comfortable in his office. Then again, I'm not the one getting the deep cavity search, so I might be a bit skewed.

But, I think that says something that my wife can be inches from me, having her honor violated, and I'm just sitting back and chatting, perfectly at ease. If I was able to, I'd probably be asking for another mojito and the volume on the TV turned up so I can hear "Mythbusters" over the sound of my beloved's virture being destroyed.

All this to say that I'm still a little nervous and excited about maybe hearing the baby's heartbeat and seeing how big little Cletus has grown. Wonder if it will actually look like anything on the ultrasound except a bunch of vanilla pudding in a black paper bag...

Oh, and finals are coming up... Little stressed about that.

The daddy's first post

Ok, so I've been told that I'm required to post a blog or two on the topic of having a baby. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write about since a. I'm not the pregnant one and b. I'm not nearly interesting enough for anyone to read what I have to say.

But, let's start at the beginning. Hello. How are you? My name is Jon. I'll be the daddy in this child-raising experience. My duties will include: feeding, washing, changing diapers and being very scared about this whole thing.

As an example: this morning, Carly told me that she had lost 2 pounds. Now, as a male and a husband, my immediate reaction is one of happiness. Typically,"She's going to be happy about this!", my pathetic male mind thinks. Then comes the look of being UNhappy about this.

See, the male mind is fragile. We like order and things we can either hunt or repair (or both. Like a robot bison or something. Just go with it, I didn't say we're logical). The above situation is not one that this poor brain is capable of processing. I shut down like a GM plant.

Moral of this story: I'll get used to being a pregnant woman's husband about the time that the baby comes and I have to learn to be a baby daddy. Then comes the toddler phase, then I'll just so happen to be cleaning my guns when my daughter's boyfriend shows up. Then it gets ugly...

So here we are...

Sara Marler suggested we start a blog to document the pregnancy, so yeah, here we are! The only way this is fun for Jon and me is if people comment and participate, because I don't want to think that I'm just writing to the ether and if no one cares, why bother? So please, please play along!!

So I'm currently about 14 weeks along, and so far things are going pretty well. I've found that I was completely unprepared for all of this nonsense, and it's sort of way more rough than I thought it would be, but it's also sort of not as bad as I thought. For example, there's the nausea. It sucks a whole lot, but at the same time, it's really short-lived, and I'm not horking up my lunch all over the place. (P.S. Can someone explain those awful Charmin commercials with the bears? I just saw the one with the bits of TP on the bear's ass. Really? Do we need to see that?) Also, nobody bothered to mention to me that I can't drink more than about a tablespoon of water before 2pm without feeling like my world is about to end. WATER. I JUST WANT SOME WATER IN THE MORNING.

What else? Oh! My doctor is the weirdest person I've ever met, but he's kind of awesome. He's a bit of a whirlwind, and he doesn't so much bother with medical terms, but he makes Jon and I both feel really comfortable. Jon was a bit taken aback when we had our first appointment and one of his questions was "how are your boobs?" Apparently doctors aren't supposed to say "boobs." My favorite part was when Jon said something about not cutting the umbilical cord, and Dr. Burke told him that if Jon wanted his child detached from the placenta, he was going to have to do it, because that's not the doctor's job. Awesome.

We've had 2 doctor's appointments so far. Dr. Burke does an ultrasound at each visit, so we've seen Cletus twice already (oh, did I mention that we're calling it "Cletus the Fetus" until we find out what it is? Liz is the genius behind that.), which is kind of cool. We saw the heartbeat at the last appointment, and I'm hoping we'll be able to hear it this next time. My next appointment is next Friday, and I'll have a picture or two of the ultrasound to post then. From what I understand, it'll still be too soon to see if it's a boy or girl, which sucks because I'm really anxious to find out. I'm predicting a girl, but I could be completely and totally wrong.

So that's all for my first post. Sara has grandiose ideas that because I'm an English major and my husband is funny, this will be a fairly entertaining blog. I hope it's decent, and I'm going to make Jon write a post soonish.


Ok, so I went to publish this bad boy, and then I noticed that my display name is "Smidget." I sincerely and honestly have no idea how Gmail found that name, because I don't recall ever giving it to them. It freaks me out just a wee bit.