Babymoon: Episode 6: Return of the Rambling

Since I don't have all that much to talk about as far as the trip to Memphis is concerned (see Episodes 4 & 5 -Ed), it's back from blog vacation (which mostly involved phoning in blog updates and humorous rants about shoe salesmen) time! Also, it might have to do with the fact that I'm a really lazy blog writer and forgot most of the trip in the thousand days it took me to write this thing. So, to ease you into the transition from hilarious misadventures to my typically solid mediocrity, I present a special feature. And as a bonus, a new interactive portion of the blog. Yes, dear readers, it's time for:

JON'S TOTAL STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS BLOG

First, I think I've hit the point in the Baby Having Experience(tm) where excitement has been bludgeoned to submission by apprehension. I got to thinking the other day that eventually this little bundle of joy and poop will grow up to be a whole, self-sufficient, employed, and hopefully stable (read:non-stabby) human being. But, between those two stages comes the long middle part. The part where he'll be asking me things. A lot of things. Like, "Why is the sky blue?" and, "Why are the goldfish swimming on their backs?" and, "Why does Mommy swear so much when you get home?". Questions that, honestly, I have no real answer to and that certainly will not satisfy a little child's curiosity. I mean, I COULD tell him why the sky is blue (Smurf magic) and where aquatic animals go when they die (the toilet, obviously). But, really, if I tell him those things he'll probably grow up believing that I'm a brilliant man that deserves his praise and respect for my many accolades, super-powers, dashing good looks, killer abs and mean right hook.

Then, he'll hit his teens and discover that it's all been one gigantic lie and wear black clothes, eyeliner, and a long mane of greasy hair while writing bad "introspective" poetry and listening to *cringe* Muse....

(Side note: To all of you who have known me for more than 18 seconds, you know I'm a Guitar Hero fanatic. I love that game. As such, I will NOT be buying GH5. Shocking as that may be, the reason is simple. I had a Facebook update that had screenshots of said game featuring the lead "singer" from Muse as a playable character. I don't really need that level of fail sullying my stalwart PS2, thank you so very much.)

Yes, yes, I know. I'm going to be a wonderful father, and I can't second-guess myself all the time, I have to play it by ear and always do what we think is best for our child and I am an amazing slice of triple chocolate man-cake. I get it.

But, it is a big burden to shoulder. And, I know that tons of people have done this before me. It's hard to wrap my brain around it. Once he gets here though, I'll forget all of this, I'm sure. I'll roll up my sleeves, change some diapers, and get over it.

Aside from my self-indulgent whining, things have been pretty calm here at Chez West. Lily kept us up almost all of last night. First, she got her paws caught in the blanket we had on the bed, and screamed us awake. After we got her out of that debacle, a storm kicked up and she flipped out. Then, she wanted to go outside only to find that *gasp* it was raining (she's a dainty lady and hates having her paws get wet)!

School's started back up for Carly, and my classes start on Monday. Not looking forward to getting back in the classroom, but I need to get this over with and get a degree and a real job so I can support my family and stop being a lazy bum that writes blog entries all day (or fails to, as the case may be).

Finally, on to the interactive portion of the blog! Carly wants to get a pool going of when the baby will be here and how big he will be. Please, write your guess in the response portion of the page. Just click where it says "Comments" and type away! Don't copy guesses and the 4th of October is already taken. In all fairness, the baby is measuring about 34 weeks now and the due date is October 10th. The winner will receive a fabulous prize of absolutely nothing but bragging rights and a temporary feeling of smug superiority! (Please note: these prizes will be null and void if you already have an existing smug feeling of superiority or are French.) Happy random guessing!