The Nerd is Strong With This One

Dear Blogophiles,
Yes, it's been a while since I or my "father" blogged. Let's just move on.

I've been very busy growing and getting more awesome everyday (I say humbly). I've moved up to real food! With a spoon and everything! My liquid diet wasn't giving me the carbs and protein that I needed to maintain my beefiness. So, I've had to bump up my eating regimen to include fruits and veggies. So far my favorites are peaches, squash, and avocado.

Also, I've begun doing crunches and turning over from belly to back and back to belly. It's a hard workout, but I've got to keep at my maximum beefcake level so I can beat daddy up when I get older.

And by "older" I mean in a few weeks.

All this beefing up has paid off, since I can also sit up almost all by myself. Soon, I'll be scooting along and then begging to use daddy's car, staying out until all hours and running with a bad crowd. At least, that's what mommy's books say I'm going to do if I don't watch my Baby Einstein DVD's.

Speaking of DVD's, mommy decided she needed something called a "me day" the other day. Apparently, this day involves mommy leaving me with the dead badger faced guy all day while she went to what daddy called "a tent revival that will turn into a goat sacrifice." Mommy keeps telling him that it's a lesson from some religious person. I'm not really sure what the "religion" stuff is except that church is a place to sleep for me and daddy.

But, when he left, daddy (after yelling "finally" at the top of his lungs) sat me down on the floor and decided to introduce me to a few of his favorite movies. Over the rest of the day, we watched a bunch of movies about aliens and spaceships and Sigourney Weaver. I really like her. Though what she's doing working beneath her talent in those movies is beyond me. I mostly didn't pay attention, though, since I was busy working out my new method of scientific inquiry.

My method involves 4 stages each more intensive than the last. It's a new way to look at the world around us and is guaranteed to revolutionize the scientific community. Here are the steps:
1. Observability. First, you find what you want to study, say, a bunch of plastic keys or a fistful of mommy's hair. Look at the object and ascertain it's distance from you.
2. Grabitude. Next, grab the object with your pincers and hold onto it for all your worth. For best results, try to grab something small and easily manipulable, like a fistful of mommy's hair.
3. Omnomability. Third, bring to your mouth and om nom it. Try to get as much of the object into your mouth as possible, pulling it there as hard as you can. Again, mommy's hair is excellent for this.
4. Throwination. Last, toss the object as hard as you can. This works best by tossing it away at the most inopportune moment. I've gotten very interesting data from flinging Mortimer out of my crib at night and then crying loudly since Mortimer has suddenly disappeared. It makes daddy very happy.

So, there. I've blogged again. Maybe, since daddy is moving into his summer schedule I can use his laptop a little more frequently to blog a bit more.